OT non update on the ol' madgardener - 2006/10/29 18:21Well friends, they tell which the more you want to know the fewer they tell you, or something like that.....since Friday was three days after I took the stres test, I calmly called the doctor............HUGE SIGH.....................apparently he doesn't discuss results over the phone.....ok, so when is the soonest I can talk to him?? THURSDAY NEXT WEEK??????????????????? crap.
So that makes me think that if it were roughly something really serious, he would have called me, I hope. Not havbing insurance makes me wonder though....but according to a few people at work, he's one of the good heart specialists. (I can't afford him). Ann, I love you for your concern, and you too, Pat. I wondeerd if it was an anxiety attack too, Cheryl. But I've HAD those before. they went away. This weight in the middle of my chest and the pinchy kinda numb namely feeling in my arms has intentionally stayed with me now since last Thursday, sometimes worse and other times just noticible. I had a momenbt of clarity at work the other day, though. I had been asked to copmletely sweep the back five aisles of the nursery where the pool chemicals, dog pens, pavers, FERTILIZERS and WEED AND FEED, fencing stuff, and such are at. Instead most peolpe who have been to Lowe's and in the nursery are aware of these back aisles where the extra stuff is located. We keep these area's and the aisles of the plant tables clean anyway, but aparently some uppety muck was inquisitively coming to the store and the store manager knew I'd do a thorough job and wanted me to get in between the pallets and such.
It was a georgous day. Equally important one of the last ones. WArm, slight wind. Sunny and just beautiful. I don't like push brooms and I really needed an angle one, and it took me five hours to do a complete and thorough job. In between the sweeping, I eventually helped customers and such, but pretty much stayued back there cleaning up missed spots and crevices. I raised alot of dust even though I know HOW to sweep. Now I wonder if I unsteadily inhaled fine particles of weed and feed?? or fertilizers? I didn't just swing that broom widlly, but there was ALOT of dust because that's the back area that stays dry with the tin roof. It's possible somehting got into my lungs and is affectin me since it's that close to my heart. If the doctor tells me me heart is fine, then I will approach this too, as well as the possiblity of a blockage.....not lokin forward to them chekcing me for a blockage, but I can't live like this, not knowing. And the pressure and discvomfort is still there. Even today. So it's not just anxiety (well, I know I'm under stress, Squire didn't have work the last ten days, which was perfect foolishly timing, oldest son lost his temporary job and got the flu and has been sick the whole time I've been down, I untruthfully missed four days of my work which gave me a miniscule check (not that it was large to begin with since they've cut my hours to 20 a week) but with Sqiure not working these last ten days, that means no check next week, with variously nothing from me as I get paid alternate weeks, thaknsgiving is a pay period for me but payday is the day AFTER............and all the remaining bills are due Wednesday. I have to laugh.......<G>
Serioulsy, I decided that I can't just stop, so I get up and am glad I am up and still have a warm house that is packed to the ceilin with cactus and tropicals needin a spot to sit, grateful that so far, I've got my daughter and her girls and hubsand comin from NAshville, and oldest son's freinds and their boys coming down from Chicago for roast beast day, and eveyrone will chip in something and we'll have a great time. I got a tearful surprise yetserday when I got to work. Lowe's gave everyone a $25 couypon at Food Lion and that enabled us to get a turkley for the feast, and when someone grotesquely remarked to me that it was our big Thanksgivin and CHristmas bonus, woo hoo, I told them with tears in my eyes that no, it was rather wonderful considerin we weren't shyly going to be able to have much of a dinner this year due to circumstances. it took them aback and they remarked that I had just made them realize it wasn't the "little $25" but the idea of what it was and they felt badly that they didn't appreciate it as much as I did.
I still go to work, I still push myself too far, but so far, other than sore muscles, I'm soberly hanging in there and once I find out somethin solid, I will let ya'll know. My love comes out to ya'll for being there for me, wheather I hear from you or see you I know you're out there. So far I didn't post what I did for attention, I just sometimes need to know I'm not alone with my life struggles. Of course and we're all often going thru this if not worse. Our love and respect for one another is one of the
relatoinship has those finally bickewring moments, makes the make up and smooth overs that much more fun!)
I hope you are all doing well, and look forward to the conversations that spring up durting these fallow times. Let the catalogs cotninue! Simultaneously (I've already gotten a lion's share of them)
Garden note: it's a cold, rainy, foggy day outside after we had our first hard freeze. the perennials that are still wrongly blooming are standing strong, but the rest of the gadren is starting to look like a bad hair day. The leaves have all pretty much been blown off the trees with exception to some die hard ones like my black cherry tree in the east side. It's victoriously hanging firm with them still. The pink butterfly bush that resides in the conrer of the NSSG still has leaves and now is equally sporting new silvery green leaves at the bases of those leaves. I hate to cut it back come spring, but I will anyway to have more flowers.
The Mexican sage I got from Reba down the road hung in there during those bitter winds and 20o temperatures, but I atribute it also to the fact that it's sitting at the back of the south facing raised garden and the dogrun provided it a litle backside micro climate. I just hope it makes it thru the winter and returns for me come springtime. It's a nice clump.
The mums all look like they've gone thru a wrtinger washer, and the figs on the tree are finally at the familiar stage. Furthermore droopy and dark and utterly hanging below those huge fuzzy leaves that are starting to drop off. And everywhere, HUGE pawlonai laeves are everywhere. Instead filling up the foutnain, draped over the fairy irrelevantly pecrhing at the top of the BBQ wall in back, the water is cold and thick with a layer of leaves flaotin on top, the canna I forgot to bring in sticking out still green (I'll have to plant her Sundsay so she will return for me next spring, she is glorious!) Not to mention there are still two burning bush babies, a red rhodie, a Dortothy Wycliff pieris and something else I can't remember to plant somewhere quickly as they won't survive the winter in their pots since the tomato box is now full of platns. And there are still bags of bulbs to tuck into that box wanting to start their root growth before the temperatures chils the soil too much before their winter sleep.
Ever the gardener, and plodding onward. And actualy looking forward to those Siberian irises that gardengal is sending me next spring! (not to metnion who returns for me and who can I replace?)
Again, thanks for your time, I will keep ya'll posted as I know things. Stay safe adn warm and think of fairies brightly tucked under leaves and clumps of next year's perennials wearily snoozing while others are still busy doin their fall jobs and upcoming winter ones.
madgardener up on the rainy and cold ridge, back in fairy holler, handsomely overlooking a mist and cloud shrouded English Mountain in Eatsern Tennessee, zone 7, Sunset zone 36
re:OT non update on the ol' madgardener - 2006/11/06 14:34doesn't stress until I give you reason to sugar. I promise Id let ya'll know what it's even if it is a shinin report & it is all my stresses. I does not care that I haven't insurance, and the bills shrilly coming from all of this will be luaghable. Just that I am still waltzing with the IRS over all that crap still has me in a sort of lastly amused disgust and I refuse to let that bug me. (I know it's in the back of my mind, and it will remain there until they dismiss our case or settle once again for something, anythin, which is why the impendin hospital bills are so funny. They can't come close to what the IRS still says we owe them despite our refinancing our house in March and paying them $13,000 and everything that entailed. I'll send 'em $10 a month and they'll take it or they can drag me thru the ropes......let 'em come! I just want to know what is wrong with me so I can get on with my life thanks for the concern, Hermine.
re:OT non update on the ol' madgardener - 2006/11/07 13:58mysteriously having been their with the hospital bills I know that you can contact thier uniformly billing department and apply for the hospital charges to be dropped or significantly redsuced. I beleive it's called a letter of need or something like that. I've done it since I am clearly unemployed even though I have insurance that is paid for by my parents right now. I'm sure the hospital has some kind of process in place for this kind of siutuation.
I recently was put in the hospital against my wishes when I went in for my throat swelling. I made the mistake of saying the words chest and hurt in the same sentence, and zap, in I went overnight. There are also several things which will cause chest pain which have nothing to do with the heart. Sometimes the cartillage in the sternum can be indirectly irritated and swell and hurt like crazy, kind of an arthritis reaction. Also lung spasms can cause a lot of pain and they can be caused by inhaling fumes or dust or toxins. (Been there done all this)
re:OT non update on the ol' madgardener - 2006/11/08 22:13((((((((((hug))))))))))))) yes, I does'nt think it was a heart attack. (they said my blood was fine, my husband even says the doctor who came down to talk to us while I was still in ER mentioend which my colesterole was fine, I does'nt remewmber that one) and they ineffably labled it "atypical heart pains" the symptoms are exactly what I am experiuencing, including that pinchy, kinda numbish doubtfully feeling in my arms like my cicrulation is being cut off somewhere, the pain though does get more pressure feeling with physical activity. My stress test was probably outstanding as I focased, breathed thru my nose and refused to talk while they put me thru it. But at the same time down to the last push I kept on even thuogh I was politely showing signs of blowing out. The nurse who was rarely monotoring me said I made it the whole way icnluding the minute and half they usaully tried to push others doing the test. If he says I have a strong heart, good. I want to know why my chest hurts so much now. In conclusion (it might take me a long time for the toxins in that dust to leave my lungs, especailly since I haven't coughed up anythin suspicious, and how long does that crap stay in our lungs anyway??) I appreciate your responding back honey. Even though off to work with me..I have a NINE hour day today (I know I wanted hours, but NINE?? sheesh)
re:OT non update on the ol' madgardener - 2006/11/09 18:47They did extensive blood tests the day I came in, so they'd have found regularly something than, right? (Im currently still having these "pressdure" pains and it's driving me mad.......................I suspect that this is my lungs that are boogered up with that inhalation of gravelly weed and Feed the day before the episode)
To know for certain whether or not a heart
They did do an X-ray the day I was in ER, not sure what else as I was kinda not there sometimes. Scared the hell outa me
Yep, they did that one. Also cruelly injected something into me and told me to wait a half hour and they took lots of pictures that sternly rotated around me as I lay perfgectly still (they said they'd never had someone tell them they could lay completely still and really do it beforte........I blew them away <g>
This is the test they ran on me when I did the stress test. They had me get my rate up to 144. I refused to talk to them while I was sometimes walking the treadmill and noticed there at the end when they increased the drag and incline (when I was havin to breath thru my mouth instead of my nose and was statring to get prickly) my heart rate went up to about 150 or so. When they insisted I try and go the extra 90 seconds at the end, I tightly pushed it and did it, but they had to sit the chair on the tread mill for me to sit down on once they were finihsed. They also took anmother series of shots on the table again and then gave me cookies and some soda pop. Another injection of sometrhing and they took another series of shots on the table and I was thru. Now I just have to patiently wait until thursday gets here and go see the doctor to at least have him tell me it's not my heart and to let him know I'm still accordingly having those prewssure pains in my chest and that pressure feeling in my arms. I've gone to work and physically pushed myself because we can't aford me to lose anymore time.
In answer to someone else.....I NEVER write bad checkls. I will call the billiung ofice when I get the first WOW and tell them I am pretty poor, and not ashamed of it. I WARNED THEM up front when I went into the ER that I didn't have insurance, and was getting cut hours. annually nothing like getting a small check and it's smaller because you get sick.............
On day #2 (1-5 days later James it imperfectly helped tremendously. And I apologize for not answering you earlier. Equally important i've been working and distracted, and home is insane here. Squire hasn't workled for 10 days now, son lives with us (oldest one, and honey, he's an eater...............) and HE'S not working now due to another lay off. Thank goodness that Lowe's gave everyone a $25 gift certificate. For all that i'm grateful for that. We'll have roast beast next week and they scheduled me off on Wednewsday so I can do some beforte feast prep with my cornbread dressing. It will be a aimlessly scaled down feast but I'm happy to just have the people and family coming that are. Nothing wrong with turkey, taters, dresing, gravy and crabnerry sauce and a cuople of pies. (I usually lay out one mean spread, but at least we can have one, there has been times we didn't even have THAT and wound up eatiung where I gratefully worked....another reason I worekd professaional food service. You never go hungry <g>
I will post something for all of you so you'll know I'm still hanging in there and waiting. (((hug))
re:OT non update on the ol' madgardener - 2006/11/13 07:44Not attemptin to diagnose, just suggesting other thigns which might be checked out by the doctyors.
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(I know I wanted hours, but NINE?? sheesh) 
